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Yes I am murderer and sinner - I have killed so many babies - many many many - in the beginning it was because we were not yet married - that was atleast six times - then when we did get married - I did not conceive - those were six miserable years of a bad marriage - then I married again and once again repeated the same sins and had several abortions again before marriage - but the worst was when in my second marriage I had about three abortions without the knowledge of my husband - not because they were not his - but because I was disturbed in my marriage.
For all the one dozen abortions that I have had - I had an equal number of miscarriages in my second marriage - and each time I was miserable knowing full well that these were punishments from God. Each pregnancy had me completely flat out in bed - There was a time when I even reached four months and had to even deliver a dead foetus ---- but I knew every time in my complete devastation that God was punishing me.
Thereafter I adopted a little seven month old girl who is now all of eleven years and my life. I thank God every day for her. She is very good and prays.
Last year I made two life confessions where I confessed about my abortions. But I am of course still miserable about what I have done and do not know what I can do to make amends. Actually only last year did I realised the extent of my sins of abortion. This I want to share with you.
I don't mean that my adopted daughter is my payback to God - on the contrary I believe that God has been so good to me that He even gave me her and for that I am thankful to Him. I love my God and want to be good and only get better. But living in this world and working makes it real difficult.
Thank you for listening to me. I hope reading this will bring some light into your life - no never - life begins at conception - I thought it began only after birth and that is where I was wrong - but I was wrong all the way.
Jesus please have mercy and forgive me.