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God Creates All Life

ProLife Story 30

I keep wondering how many times can I tell my unborn child that I am sorry... how long will it take to forgive myself. I look at babies and my heart becomes so broken and I become so jealous... because they have their baby and I don't.

I had an abortion when I was 19 years old.. I was 5 months pregnant. i remember going in the clinic and the nurse asking me if i want an picture of the baby... and I am thinking I just want to forget this day.. I cried everynight alone... because I couldn't talk to anyone about how I felt.
I don't know how I convinced myself abortion was okay... all I know is I was scared and about to attend college... and a baby deserved more than I could give.. I still feel lost when I think on that day. I miss my baby so much.. I never knew it would hurt so much...

I have gotten pregnat 2 times since my abortion and both times I lost the baby. The first is was a miscarriage and the second time an ectopic pregnancy where they had to remove one of my tubes ... and I kept thinking if only I would have kept my first child... maybe I wouldn't feel so punished. Sometimes all I can do is cry... Three babies and not one is beside me. I will never see their smile or be able to give them the love I have inside me.

-- submitted anonymously

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